My oldest surviving brother died yesterday

Tuesday, at about 3:00PM. It was a bit sudden, and shocking, if not exactly surprising. He had not been in great health for quite some time, and was a heavy smoker to the end, even after heart bypass surgery several years ago.

We were able to gather most of the family at the hospital, and I was there when, or shortly after he died. I'm not actually sure, but I had seen him just Saturday, so I'm OK with that.
He is survived by his three adult children. They had been estranged from him for about 10 years due to a difficult divorce situation, but thankfully, all had been re-connecting with him over the last few years. I feel the worst for the youngest. He actively sought out his father after those difficult times and was really getting closer to him. The irony is, of course, that he is a two time Iraq war vet, who returns to re-unite with his father, only to have him taken by illness and infirmity. I believe he did, however, learn that there are usually more than one side to any problem in relationships. Hopefully he carries that lesson with him for the rest of his life.

For my part, I never knew him as well as either of us would have liked. He was off in Vietnam while I was in High School, and I left for the service shortly after he was discharged. I would not return home to the State of Washinton until 35 years later. I had a short year to talk to him, and it wasn't enough. My other brother thought I might regret it if I hadn't said a final goodbye in the hospital room yesterday. My real regret is that I really never said a decent hello to him.

My brother was, in many ways, and for many years a real SOB. As the youngest of the brood, I always assumed I got the brunt of his teenaged angst and rage. But he was also capable of boundless generosity when one of his family, siblings, and/or relatives was in need. As always, we will eulogize the best of him, and hold the worst of him in the dimmer places of our memory.

My brother was a destructive drinker through most of his twenties, but was justifiably proud that he never took a drink for the 31 years after he quit. Unfortunately, he did not necessarily follow that up with other more healthful life decisions and was taken from us at the not so ripe age of 60.

We, as a family, have shed some tears, and probably more will come. As I have aged I have come to realize that my family is perhaps not quite as diverse as I used to think. We were able to come together and even start rational discussions about the funeral plans and such. As a Vietnam Veteran, his final resting place will be Tahoma National Cemetary in Kent.

My other brother, my sister, and I have let the three children make the decisions so far, but have of course extended our help as needed. We are in agreement that the immediate family needs to make the important decisions, and shouldn't be beholden to the older generation.

I'm not much for religion or the afterlife. However, when I left that room, I could only say, "Goodbye, bro. See you on the other side."

Bigotry

I recently wrote a letter to the editor of my local paper. The text follows:

I'm sorry, but I don't feel that enshrining bigotry into our Constitution via the "Defense of Marriage Amendment" is a good idea, especially when the country has so many more pressing issues to be addressed.

Does anyone really think that if we outlaw homosexuality, God will protect us from the terrorists? Not to insult my religious friends, but I need a bit more tangible protections than that.

The letter was published in the Monday, June 5, 2006 edition of the Seattle Post Intelligencer.

Somehow, this issue strikes a nerve with me. It seems so petty, so mean spirited, and so un-American. Last night, conservative commentater Bill Bennett was on The Daily Show to pimp his new book. To everyone's surpise, especially Bennett's, Jon actually asked some serious sounding questions about fairness and true freedoms. One of his real zingers was to ask how someone could sound off about personal freedom to live as one likes, and how the government had no right to interfere with that, and then turn around and espouse a campaign to deny those rights to a large segment of the populace. Bennett had no real response, of course, except to hem and haw and mumble the tired old conservative response that that's the way it's always been, and how it will somehow harm heterosexual marriage. I'm still waiting for a real, concrete answer to why that is true.

The irony, of course, goes way over someone like Bill Bennett's head. I'm sure he expected less actual journalism and more obvious comedic digs at his position. The thing is, the position favoring the amendment banning gay marriage is so ironic, that its proponents are funny just by trying to defend it. Jon Stewart didn't have to make jokes, Bill Bennett and his position was the joke.

Hopefully, this ill-conceived notion will go down in flames, and its supporters will suffer for having once again brought it up.

Wow

This is more difficult than I thought. My intention was to practice the craft of writing while posting various opinion and informative posts.

It seems that my writer's block continues. Oh well. Today is looking good in the great PNW, so I will have to get out, I think. I've been spending too much time pounding the keyboard in non-constructive ways. That may be a bit of a harsh judgement, but hitting the message boards can be habit forming, to say the least.

I'm looking forward to taking in Gore's movie, An Inconvenient Truth but it is only showing in downtown Seattle, and that is a bit far to go. Certainly, I would ride the bus, at least from a local park and ride, but still, it is quite a trip.

Better to go out and hit the driving range. I've been working on my swing, and with the help of some tips I picked up on TV, I think I've made some progress. At least, I have mostly tamed my slice off the tee, or at least moderated it somewhat. Someday soon, I may even start keeping score. So far, I only count the number of balls it takes me to finish 9 holes.